<a href="http://globaltolerance.com/">globaltolerance.com</a>
Are You Active(ly) Listening?
Did you know that there are 3-Levels of Listening? Which one of these levels do you engage in on a daily basis? (1) Inactive Listening - you are listening on and off, engaged in your own thoughts and agenda; (2) Passive Listening - you are not listening to the deeper meaning of what is being said, which creates misunderstandings; (3) Active Listening - you are focused 100% to listening and observing the total communication of the other person.
Deal With It! Tip #6: Are You Active(ly) Listening?. When you are in a conflict situation both of you can't express your concerns at the same time. Someone has to talk, and someone has to listen. When you are engaged in active listening (Level #3 above) you are completely and wholly focused on the person in question so that you can understand, interpret an evaluate what you hear. You can't do this if you are multi-tasking. Everything that you're doing must STOP! You engage in complete eye contact. Your body language is open and not in defense mode. You are 100% focused on the person who is upset or angry with you. You have to listen and not just hear what the other person is saying so that you can get clarity about the situation and plan the next step. Remember, if you're talking...you're not listening. In order to hear...you have to listen. With active listening comes clarity and understanding. It isn't easy, so practice, practice, practice.
Got a question you'd like to have answered? Email your questions to me, and I will pick one to answer each time I send out 'Your Mid-Week Resolve.' Are you interested in a FREE Discovery Session to see if Coaching or Mediation is right for you? Call me on 813-868-7697 to schedule an appointment. If you are enjoying these weekly tips and would like to pre-order a copy of Deal With It: How To Manage The Conflict In Your Life click here
Until next time...
Deal With It! Tip #6: Are You Active(ly) Listening?. When you are in a conflict situation both of you can't express your concerns at the same time. Someone has to talk, and someone has to listen. When you are engaged in active listening (Level #3 above) you are completely and wholly focused on the person in question so that you can understand, interpret an evaluate what you hear. You can't do this if you are multi-tasking. Everything that you're doing must STOP! You engage in complete eye contact. Your body language is open and not in defense mode. You are 100% focused on the person who is upset or angry with you. You have to listen and not just hear what the other person is saying so that you can get clarity about the situation and plan the next step. Remember, if you're talking...you're not listening. In order to hear...you have to listen. With active listening comes clarity and understanding. It isn't easy, so practice, practice, practice.
You asked: My best friend and I have been like sisters for over 20-years. We have a lot in common, but lead very different lives. I am married with 2-children. She is single (but dating) and is a very successful fashion consultant. Lately, I don't seem to be able to say anything right. We fight more than we talk these days. I find myself always apologizing and trying to make things right. I've asked her many times if there is something that I've done or said but she always says no. What can I do?
Resolve It Now!: This is a hard one. Unless your friend is willing to share why she is angry with you all the time, there isn't much you can do. If you have reached out to her to find out why, and she refuses to share, then (and you probably don't want to hear this but...) you have to walk away from the friendship. Let her know that while you value the friendship that you have both built over the years you cannot continue to be in a toxic relationship. It isn't good for your health or hers. Suggest that she take some time to figure out why she's so angry with you all the time (remember that it night not even be about you) and perhaps seek some professional help. When she can share with you why, only then will you will be ready to listen. Then make a clean break.
Resolve It Now!: This is a hard one. Unless your friend is willing to share why she is angry with you all the time, there isn't much you can do. If you have reached out to her to find out why, and she refuses to share, then (and you probably don't want to hear this but...) you have to walk away from the friendship. Let her know that while you value the friendship that you have both built over the years you cannot continue to be in a toxic relationship. It isn't good for your health or hers. Suggest that she take some time to figure out why she's so angry with you all the time (remember that it night not even be about you) and perhaps seek some professional help. When she can share with you why, only then will you will be ready to listen. Then make a clean break.
Got a question you'd like to have answered? Email your questions to me, and I will pick one to answer each time I send out 'Your Mid-Week Resolve.' Are you interested in a FREE Discovery Session to see if Coaching or Mediation is right for you? Call me on 813-868-7697 to schedule an appointment. If you are enjoying these weekly tips and would like to pre-order a copy of Deal With It: How To Manage The Conflict In Your Life click here
Until next time...
Views: 28
Tags: communication, conflict, resolution, skills
Comments are closed for this blog post
© 2012 Created by global tolerance.
Powered by
